By Sheelagh
Growing up, I thought my mom was invincible. She was some sort of super hero to me--I even thought that she was tall:) There was nothing she couldn't do, and not knowing how to do something never stopped her from trying.
She taught us how to cook, and how to play sports...she may still have a wicked hook shot! (we will have to get her out on the court this week now that the weather has cooled down a little.) She made candy that was amazing and was something that we all looked forward to every holiday- although she gave away more than we ate....and guarded her chocolate hoard like a dragon--we knew that there would be trouble if we ate the candy...especially if it was a "perfect" one since she only ever gave us the "flawed" pieces--not that we complained, the "flawed" chocolates tasted just as good!
She was a tireless example of unconditional love and service.
She could fix anything. Her philosophy about fixing things was "It's already broken, you might as well take it apart and try to fix it." She fixed radios, a laptop, a waffle iron......the list goes on and on. I tried this out once. I had a broken stereo. I opened it up, looked inside and though, well, there is the inside of my stereo.....had no idea where to even start. I poked around for a little bit but in the end I bought a new one.
She raised the three of us on her own, she never got sick, and it seemed was never tired...although sometimes we would catch her "resting her eyes" :)
It seemed that there was nothing that the four of us couldn't make it through together. This cancer hit us all like a sucker punch. We all figured she would meet her end pruning her apple tree when she was 95, or by falling off the roof cleaning her gutters at age 100.
It has been very hard to slowly loose her. There is so much about her that I already miss, even when she is sitting next to me in the room. My invincible mom is already gone and I miss her so much. I am now left with wondering if I told her I loved her enough when that was something I knew that she understood, did I let her know just how much she meant to me and my family. As corny as it sounds this experience has made me want to hug my kids a little tighter, love them a little more. Take every chance I have to tell my loved ones how much they mean to me.
She gets confused much easier now. She will forget things that just happened, and many conversations get repeated. Just now she is telling me about an email that Alicia sent her, although we talked about it not 10 minutes ago. The last few days she has spent more time in bed. Starting conversations with her is difficult. We have begun the paper work to start hospice care. They will be coming next week for an evaluation meeting. It all is still surreal to me. Like a very long bad dream that I want to wake up from.
For those of you who want to get in touch with her, phone conversations are difficult for her. They seem to take a lot of energy. The best way to tell her that you love her is with a letter in the mail (you can contact me directly for my address) or by sending an email to her. She may not email back, she sometimes forgets how to work her computer or gets lost in thought.
Growing up, I thought my mom was invincible. She was some sort of super hero to me--I even thought that she was tall:) There was nothing she couldn't do, and not knowing how to do something never stopped her from trying.
She taught us how to cook, and how to play sports...she may still have a wicked hook shot! (we will have to get her out on the court this week now that the weather has cooled down a little.) She made candy that was amazing and was something that we all looked forward to every holiday- although she gave away more than we ate....and guarded her chocolate hoard like a dragon--we knew that there would be trouble if we ate the candy...especially if it was a "perfect" one since she only ever gave us the "flawed" pieces--not that we complained, the "flawed" chocolates tasted just as good!
She was a tireless example of unconditional love and service.
She could fix anything. Her philosophy about fixing things was "It's already broken, you might as well take it apart and try to fix it." She fixed radios, a laptop, a waffle iron......the list goes on and on. I tried this out once. I had a broken stereo. I opened it up, looked inside and though, well, there is the inside of my stereo.....had no idea where to even start. I poked around for a little bit but in the end I bought a new one.
She raised the three of us on her own, she never got sick, and it seemed was never tired...although sometimes we would catch her "resting her eyes" :)
It seemed that there was nothing that the four of us couldn't make it through together. This cancer hit us all like a sucker punch. We all figured she would meet her end pruning her apple tree when she was 95, or by falling off the roof cleaning her gutters at age 100.
It has been very hard to slowly loose her. There is so much about her that I already miss, even when she is sitting next to me in the room. My invincible mom is already gone and I miss her so much. I am now left with wondering if I told her I loved her enough when that was something I knew that she understood, did I let her know just how much she meant to me and my family. As corny as it sounds this experience has made me want to hug my kids a little tighter, love them a little more. Take every chance I have to tell my loved ones how much they mean to me.
She gets confused much easier now. She will forget things that just happened, and many conversations get repeated. Just now she is telling me about an email that Alicia sent her, although we talked about it not 10 minutes ago. The last few days she has spent more time in bed. Starting conversations with her is difficult. We have begun the paper work to start hospice care. They will be coming next week for an evaluation meeting. It all is still surreal to me. Like a very long bad dream that I want to wake up from.
For those of you who want to get in touch with her, phone conversations are difficult for her. They seem to take a lot of energy. The best way to tell her that you love her is with a letter in the mail (you can contact me directly for my address) or by sending an email to her. She may not email back, she sometimes forgets how to work her computer or gets lost in thought.
Sheelagh and family,
ReplyDeleteJessica sent this on to me. What a dear post. I was so sad to hear about what has happened your mom and all that she is going through. Our thoughts and prayers are with you!
xo
Debbie Martinsen